Not long after turning 40, I was broadsided by the realization that I was halfway to my dirt-nap. This triggered a torrent of existential questions and a marathon of introspection. This time of navel-gazing ultimately led to some decisions and course corrections. It was also when I was confronted by the novel I’d never written.

I’ve always loved books and, as a teenager, I became enamored with the thought of writing my very own. Though this passion grew and endured, I allowed the hustle and chaos of life to push it aside. In the clarity of my half-dead analysis, I decided it was time to take action. I began writing.

That was eight years ago. Eight. Do you remember the music video for Epic by Faith No More? Did you ever see 2001: A Space Odyssey? How about Office Space? My fiction-writing experience thus far is a mixture of the flopping and gasping fish from the Epic video, the Neanderthals smacking at the monolith in 2001, and the fax machine scene from Office Space. It has been hard. It has been slow. It has been intensely frustrating at times. It has also been a very positive and rewarding learning experience.

I’ve done a lot of technical and business writing over the course of my career and have enjoyed some success in this domain, with some of my work published or used in interesting ways. I thought this experience would help me with my novel. Nope. Writing fiction uses different muscles and a different region of gray matter.

My journey has been slow. With the help of my savage inner-editor, my dysfunctional process has been: write to the point of  weeping and gnashing of teeth, eject, start new project, repeat. Still, this silliness over time has yielded significant progress. Today, I have five novels or novellas in progress, each sitting in the 30,000 – 80,000 words range. I also have a pile of short fiction projects that I plan to tidy up and share. I am determined to self-publish my first novel this year.

My website, while originally just another distraction from my frustrating fiction, has taken on new purpose. Spooning The Muse is about creating some additional accountability, providing an outlet for my imminent stories, and connecting with others entangled in similar battles.

Jay is an author in progress, SFF enthusiast, musician, and dad of six. He lives in Virginia with his wife, tiny humans, and a neurotic Goldendoodle.

fork@spooningthemuse.com
@jaybenfield.bsky.social
@japhethbenfield